It is really difficult to see yourself,

To really see yourself. All the good stuff,

All the bad bits,

All the degrees between.

To see yourself

As others see you: Friends and family,

Enemies, strangers,

Other eyes.

You have to put yourself

In their place,

See what you do

Through their eyes.

This hurts.

You see the things

That you don’t want to see.

You hear yourself,

You understand how you appear

To others.

You become self-aware.

You see wrinkles.

You see all the warts.

You hear arrogance,

Hear it speak with your voice.

Selfishness and sarcasm

Spills from your own lips.

You see yourself

Pass by on the other side.

The occasional kindness,

Politeness, seems lightweight

And trite in comparison

To the burden of your faults.

Perhaps these flaws

Are magnified by proximity,

But they are visible,

They can be seen

If you look for them.

And we do look for them,

Every time we see a good thing done

By another, other self.

Introspection,

The inspection of the self,

May give us greater understanding,

But no greater liking,

For the subject under scrutiny.

On reflection, the mirror never lies.

And so I choose

My main defence.

I simply close my eyes.

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