To See Yourself

It is really difficult to see yourself,
To really see yourself.
All the good stuff,
All the bad bits,
All the degrees between.
To see yourself
As others see you:
Friends and family,
Enemies, strangers,
Other eyes.
You have to put yourself
In their place,
See what you do
Through their eyes.
This hurts.
You see the things
That you don’t want to see.
You hear yourself,
You understand how you appear
To others.
You become self-aware.
You see wrinkles.
You see all the warts.
You hear arrogance,
Hear it speak with your voice.
Selfishness and sarcasm
Spills from your own lips.
You see yourself
Pass by on the other side.
The occasional kindness,
Politeness, seems lightweight
And trite in comparison
To the burden of your faults.
Perhaps these flaws
Are magnified by proximity,
But they are visible,
They can be seen
If you look for them.
And we do look for them,
Every time we see a good thing done
By another, other self.
Introspection,
The inspection of the self,
May give us greater understanding,
But no greater liking,
For the subject under scrutiny.
On reflection, the mirror never lies.
And so I choose
My main defence.
I simply close my eyes.

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